August 29, 2009

If you love someone...

Dear Former Best Friend of my daughter:
I'm sorry you moved to Australia with your family, and it was hard. I'm sorry you feel that the only way to cope with your new home is to destroy a friendship that has existed since junior kindergarten, and to blame my daughter for your being homesick when you talk to her or email her. A long time ago, I thought you understood what it meant to be a friend. I guess I was wrong.
The mom.

Dearest Daughter:
Ugh. I'm sorry that I didn't hear you when you told me your friend canceled her email and stopped talking to you. Of course, you didn't tell me she told you that 'the only time she feels homesick is when she talks to you' and she 'has to let you go to deal with her new life'. That totally sucks; it is not fair to you, to have her blame you for being willing to listen and care, for you to be encouraging, and tell her to get involved where she is now. I am sorry for this pain, and I am sorry I asked how she is.
It is a rotten way to learn the saying: If you love something, set it free.
I am proud of you, and think the world of you. You don't deserve to be treated this way. I admire the way you are dealing with your pain and moving on. I know it is hard; I wish I knew a way to make it easier for you.
Guess I don't need to save for a trip to Australia as a graduation present; maybe you can go to France instead?

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